EARLY AM & ACUTE CAFFEINE DEFICIENCY!


I drink lots of coffee to compensate for the day-time drowsiness that comes from my medications. I am a caffeine addict and I wake-up every morning with an acute need for coffee – ASAP! That is the back-story for the events that transpired recently shortly after awakening from our first night at a North Las Vegas hotel.

After finding the coffee maker hidden behind the opened bathroom door, we thought what could be easier – wake-up, get-up, do what Nature requires of us, make coffee, drink coffee, craving satisfied. Sounds good except it did not happen as expected. The steps that are preliminary to the actual making of the needed coffee are not as easy as one may believe. For us, step one is find the cups and open the plastic sleeve the cups are sealed in. We quickly found the plastic the sleeves are made of is very resistant to any reasonable attempt to open by pulling apart the seams, tearing of the sealed ends, or puncture by your index finger. Only by vigorous and repeated punching with the index finger was I able to make a finger diameter sized hole. Since the aim is to remove the cup from the plastic sleeve, the hole must be made bigger – much bigger. The plastic sleeve does not give up the required hole easily; one must pull very stoutly to win. As I pulled the cup from the now defeated plastic, my feeling of frustration gave way to one consistent with victory over a worthy opponent. This lasted through the instant it took me to realize I had to do it again; my wife also needed a cup for her equally needed coffee!

With the cups now freed, our attention turned to the joining of the cardboard insulating rings to the cups. After several false starts, the rings were in place and we contemplated the next step in our quest for a caffeine addicts relief. We observed our opponents as two metallized plastic, rectangular shaped, containers with serrations along the length of the sealed ends. I looked in vain for the small nick I expected to find in the sealed ends of the package. Since I did not find same, I tried to start a tear at the root of the serrations with negative results. I then tried to pull the package apart to defeat the end seam. Same result – negative. I was beginning to sense my  already battered sense of Manhood was in for a further bashing if I failed to open the coffee package without resorting to my wife’s toolkit. So I huffed and puffed and tore the package open. Manhood restored!

I drink my coffee black and I have what I need – coffee and a cup. But wait! My wife uses a creamer and where is the creamer? You guessed right! In a plastic sleeve along with the other coffee “stuff”. By this time my caffeine addiction has led me into a manic state and no mere plastic sleeve is a match for me now. A half-dozen tries later and I have the creamer in hand. “Only one?” my wife asks. “I use two!” Fortunately, my manic state persisted and I was able to present my wife with the second creamer. And, yes, the coffee was great!

3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Scott Dulaney on March 31, 2017 at 5:11 am

    Grandpa, I can picture all of this in my head and it’s hilarious.

    Reply

  2. Posted by Scott Dulaney on March 31, 2017 at 5:08 am

    Grandpa, the sad part is…..I can picture every word of this story as it unfolded. Hilarious

    Reply

  3. Posted by Susan Johnson on May 20, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    Oh how you make me laugh!

    Reply

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